"Listen, Meg. Listen well. The foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called, but God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the things which are mighty. And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are." (By the way, this is from 1 Corinthians 1:26-28.)
When I read this, I thought, "YES! That's it! That's my students!" Maybe that doesn't make any sense to anyone else, but I felt it almost as a physical thing. It resonated.
My children, my little band of misfits, have already been removed from schools, from peers, from many of the "normal" childhood things. This may offend some people, but it's easy to even say that they have already failed at life, school, and childhood. (Not that I see my kids as failures, but it is easy to characterize them as such.) They have been removed from the "normal" kids because they are too dangerous or volatile or "difficult" to be around them. They get it. They understand. And these are not poor little innocent waifs who are being picked on by society. These kids are dangerous, volatile, and difficult. They know this, too.
Can you see it? Do you get it? Can you imagine for a moment what it is like to know this about yourself at the age of 11? 10? 9? 8? 7? 6? 5? Yes, 5. We have one kindergarten age student. He is dangerous enough that he comes with his own one-on-one parapro. How do you assimilate that as a child in a healthy way? I'm not sure it's even possible. I have kids who smell BAD. I have kids who are mentally ill. I have kids who are VERY intelligent, but who totally reject the world because they KNOW they are going to be rejected.
So, when I read the words, "And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not...", it rang inside me. I don't know how else to say it. Not to sound grandiose, I am no saint(!), but like God I choose those who have been debased and despised. I choose them because of their strength, their light, their joy in living. To go into that room everyday and to try to hold up a TRUE mirror to them, so that they can see themselves as they are. Not as the world tells them they are, twisted and unworthy. Not as some sugar coated, idealized version of who they are. But a true image of themselves, good parts and bad. And then I love them.
Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But every day is a new reason to hope. And every child is a new cause to hope for. They are all beautiful to me.
